There is nothing special about Will's outfit in the pictures below. It is made by Carter's and is one of those perfect, hang-around-the-house outfits. Except, it IS special. To me, anyway. It was purchased last summer when Target was having their end of season sales; after it was confirmed at my 28 week ultrasound that he was still a HE. Every night before bed, I'd go into what would someday be his room, into what would someday be his closet. I'd run my fingers over all his purchases - including this outfit. It wasn't so much the cuteness factor, although that was part of it. The magic was in knowing that he would someday be wearing everything hanging there. I miss that feeling. The anticipation and the planning. It was this time last year when it was all so close I could taste it.
I am this little boy's mother. How on earth did I get so lucky?
On any given day, my home looks like this.
And it doesn't end here. There's a hamper in our room full of yesterday's laundry, that will most likely stay just as it is for a few days more. Not to mention clutter on nearly every surface. And the house needs to be vacuumed. The list goes on.
Someday I'll be the mom that has it all together. I'll shower in the morning, and fix my hair, and put on real clothes and makeup. I'll clean the house - and make sure it stays that way. Clean clothes and dishes will be promptly stored in their proper places. Someday I'll be that mom. But, not today. Because today, I have better things to do.
Like take Will to his first swim lesson. We sang songs and Will kicked and splashed and smiled. Seeing him so happy made my heart soar.
Mike and I recently had the should-I-go-back-to-work-so-we-can-buy-a-bigger-house conversation. We both decided it could wait. Because spending everyday with this...
is so worth it. Even when I'm tripping over toys and cursing the dumb-dumb teenaged neighbor boy for playing his music so loud. Will's little life is just too important to miss.
So, I'll ignore the fact that we were only meant to live here for a short time. I'll embrace my home, despite its flaws and imperfections. Instead, I'll focus on the beauty that exists among the clutter. Because there's so much of it.